Teacher Tuesday: In Full Bloom

Several weeks ago, one of our long-standing and very kind donors blessed the offices on campus with beautiful orchids – all in perfect health, lush and draping with purple flowers. Almost two months later, they’re still absolutely stunning.

Except, of course, for the one in my office.

I don’t know why. My co-worker, Joy, and I have done everything the All About Orchids website said to do – put three ice cubes on it every Monday and leave it alone. We followed these directions to the letter. Where is there room to go wrong??

I have brief moments of guilt as I’m watching our orchid slowly pass away. Every day at least two withered blooms give up their struggle for survival and release their hold on life.  I wonder if the day I gently talked to the plant with an Altoid in my mouth was the beginning of the end. Were those curiously strong little mints too overpowering for the delicate blooms? Is the temperature of the office too hot or too cold? Are we picking the wrong ice cubes out of the tray? I don’t think I’ll ever know.

What I do know is that there are two categories of plant people – people who research plant care, do everything humanly possible to maintain plant life, yet still manage to kill all things green and leafy, and those people who simply sprinkle a little water on the dirt and somehow grow a towering magic beanstalk that will not die until someone goes at it with an axe.

I am in the first category. So, apparently, is Joy.  Leslie Leith, the Horticulture Instructor for Shepherds College, is definitely in the second category.

Mrs. Leith is a blessing to all living things – plants, vegetables and students. They thrive under her care.  Not only does she have the impressive qualifications, expertise and experience necessary to motivate growth among the creatures in the flora kingdom, but she also has the perfect combination of kindness, passion and warmth to inspire confidence and creativity in every student in her classroom.

One of the first things a person notices about Mrs. Leith is her serenity. It’s as much a part of her physical being as her arms and legs. It’s evident in her soft smile, the gentle lines of her face and the glow of contentment in her eyes. She has that rare and true beauty that comes from finding peace in God and joy in His creation.

Mrs. Leith

Mrs. Leith’s students learn, not just because of her vast knowledge of Horticulture, but because her serenity translates to a calm demeanor that helps each person to relax and focus on the subject at hand. The smooth cadence of her voice is easy to listen to, adding to a learning environment that seems almost therapeutic in nature.

Her serenity makes a powerful first impression, but a person has only to spend a few minutes talking to Mrs. Leith to realize that she also has a depth of love and passion for using her skills to educate, inspire and serve people with intellectual disabilities.  Creative ideas pour out of her for lesson plans, crafts, recipes and community projects that fill listeners with enthusiasm for whatever it is she’s talking about. You can only imagine, after chatting with her briefly and being impacted by her zeal, how big of an influence she must have with the students she works with every day.  

Brian and Mrs. Leith

I have no doubt that Mrs. Leith’s serenity, her passion and her creativity are, and will be, dynamic forces in her students’ success.  Her classroom is the perfect environment – a place where creativity and God’s creation come together to provide a healing, thriving, encouraging, loving atmosphere in which plants, and students, can fully bloom.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.

Resolving Conflict the Shepherds Way

If you put two people in a room, any two people in the world, eventually there is going to be conflict over something – a difference of opinion, an accidental kick under the table, poor manners, a thoughtless remark, a perceived slight, a bored yawn, cultural differences, you name it.  Something will trigger a strain between two people that can escalate into fighting and a break in the relationship if left unresolved.

You’ll see why I work behind a desk and am not out pursuing a degree in psychology when I confess this next part – I don’t know how to resolve conflict. I practice Conflict Avoidance.  When a person hurts or offends me, I plaster a strained smile on my face and blast them with a mind rant. My mind rants are filled with wonderfully witty sarcasm, put-downs that would have Optimus Prime cowering in humiliation in front of me, and scathing comebacks that somehow always manage to be the perfect verbal weapon… unless I actually try to say them out loud. Then they just sound silly. 

Following the frustrating and ineffective mind rant, I then avoid the offending person for the rest of my life. It works – to avoid conflict, wreck relationships and give me a tension headache.

The Shepherds College staff practice and teach a much more effective strategy.  It obviously works because the teachers all get along really well.

Let me show you what the Shepherds College conflict resolution strategy looks like.

1.       Tell the person what they did that you didn’t like.

2.       Tell the person how you feel about what they did.

3.       Tell the person what you would like them to do instead.

4.       Ask for an agreement.

This end of the conversation may sound something like this, “It bothers me when you make fun of me. It makes me feel hurt and sad. I would like it if you would only say things that are nice. Do you agree?”

Conflict Resolution is covered in Personal Development 1 class which is taught by Mrs. Kolkman.  Students start this unit by identifying emotions and naming them. They spend time learning expected and unexpected ways to express these emotions and then putting together a photo collage of what they’ve learned. Anger, in particular, is covered in this section.

Next, it’s important for the students to see that they have similarities and differences with others. Students do an activity where they see the differences and similarities by going to one side of the room or the other based on their answer to a question.  The question might be, “Do you prefer to be alone or with other people?” Or, “Are you from Wisconsin or from outside of Wisconsin?” Sometimes these similarities and differences can cause conflict, so this is when Mrs. Kolkman will introduce Conflict Resolution.

In order to understand conflict resolution, students role play to demonstrate positive and negative ways of handling conflict. In the end, students create their own scenarios to show realistic conflicts and expected ways of addressing them.

Sean and Katy role playing

What’s cool about the Shepherds College program is that the students don’t just go home at the end of the day and forget what they’ve learned. They are living on campus with people who are relatively unfamiliar to them and dealing with situations they normally would not encounter at home.  There are going to be situations where conflict is inevitable and where opportunities are rife for the students’ lessons to be practiced and reinforced. 

No mind rants, no avoidance, no prolonged tension – just strong communication skills and healthier relationships when you resolve conflict the Shepherds way.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.

Fridays Top Five: The Shepherds College Fitness Plan

I don’t know about you, but at my house it gets pretty crazy this time of year.  There is so much to do to get ready for college!  You need to make sure all your family and friends are following you on Facebook, you need to update your cell phone with new phone numbers, you need to make sure your desk lamp matches the cute bedding you just bought, and you definitely have to get highlights to compliment that golden tan you’ve been working on all summer.

I’m only half kidding. I just gave you my daughter’s to-do list.  My son actually received a lengthy training book from his football coach. By routinely following the carefully designed plan over the summer, he’ll be able to maintain a certain fitness level required by the team.  He won’t get out of shape while he’s away from school.

Shepherds College students received a “training book” too. Each student was emailed a packet that will help them make the transition from home to college.  For new students, this packet will help them “get in shape” for their life on campus. For returning students, this packet will help them “stay in shape,” without forgetting all they’ve learned the previous year.

The transition packet contained five key documents for the students to work on, so I’m going to highlight them today for my Friday’s Top Five:

1.                   A Chore Chart.  Parents thank us profusely for including it.  This chart assigned chores such as personal hygiene, making the bed, cleaning the microwave, washing the laundry - every day of the week! Even on Sundays! Gotta love it.

Ray cleaning the windows

2.                   S.M.A.R.T. Goals. These are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time Bound. Students have to choose either volunteering, reading a book, planning and doing a regular family activity, or Bible reading. Of course, since this is college-related, the student has to write a paper on their goal and complete a goal journal.

Brian helping with yard work as a service project

3.                   A Letter.  Students, how’s your summer so far? Tell us all about it in a letter and send it to Mrs. Konopasek. She’s looking forward to hearing about all the fun you’re having without her.

Do you think Kyle is writing Mrs. K a letter?

4.                   Recipes.  This one is my favorite! The students have to make dinner for their families. They each received five recipes - Barbecups, Crock Pot Chili, Pita Pizza, Grilled Cheese Sandwich, and Pasta with Spaghetti Sauce – and must cook three of them, on their own, over the summer. 

Katy in Intro to Culinary Arts

5.                   A FIT Challenge Tracking Sheet.  You know what this means, don’t you?  Exercise. Just what everyone wants to do when it’s 95° outside.  The students have to walk, run or bike and then record their time on the tracking sheet.  To encourage the students to actually torture themselves in this way, the college has decided to turn this exercise into a competition between the 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd year students.  The class that accumulates the most amount of time exercising wins an ice cream party!  Then after eating all that yummy ice cream, we’re going to make the students exercise some more to burn off those hefty calories.

Daniela, Kelsie, Linday and Mrs. Vauters Movin' To The Groove

And there you have it – The Shepherds College Fitness Plan, the perfect way to get in shape for school.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.

What a Relief!

Parents, as you read this blog I want you to be aware of something about me – I don’t have a child with intellectual disabilities.  I don’t have firsthand knowledge of how to deal with IEPs, sensory disorders, adaptive technology or any of the hundreds of other things you have to deal with on a regular basis. I also have difficulty comprehending medical conditions beyond “fever” or “pregnancy” – my brain has an automatic Pause button when “itis” or “osis” is tacked on to the end of a long string of other letters.

In spite of this, I would bet that you and I have more in common than not, simply because we’re parents.

Are you familiar with the Bible verse that goes, “Be anxious for nothing…?” I don’t know about you, but I’m really glad God didn’t make that one of the Ten Commandments because then I might have to think He was serious about it.  How could He give us children and then allow “Be anxious for nothing” in the Bible without having a good chuckle at our expense?

I have four children, three of whom I’ve sent off to college, so I’m going to talk to you college parent to college parent. 

There are universal college parent worries.  It doesn’t matter what level of ability our children are functioning at, some worries cross all boundaries.

Daniela

1.     Will he eat well if I’m not there to feed him?  This is a big one for me. I like to feed people and I take this role very seriously with my family. But I’m also a vegetarian, so as my son is pulling out of the driveway on his way back to school, I’m the loon screaming at his taillights, “Bye Honey! Don’t eat too much meat! Go easy on the meat!! Honey? It will clog your arteries!” I’m 100% certain he’s getting the opposite advice from his football coach. I want to assure you though, at Shepherds College your son or daughter will eat well. We have residential life staff that will assist your student in making a grocery list, selecting food and preparing that food. Nutrition and food safety are covered in the classroom. We also have a professional kitchen that serves well-rounded lunches to get your student through the school day.  If your child requires a special diet, specific arrangements can be made to get him the food he needs to stay healthy.  No worries here!

2.       What about drugs?  We may be looking at this one a bit differently.  I’m saying to my son, “Stay away from drugs!” and you’re probably saying, “Don’t forget your drugs!” Either way, drugs are definitely an issue in college.  Our students all work closely with the nursing staff to manage their medication.  There are very regimented med passing times, as prescribed by your doctor, which are monitored by staff.  In incremental stages, to prepare for independent living, your student is taught about his meds and how to manage them after graduation.  Let that worry slip from your mind.

Hanging out and fitting in

3.     Will he fit in? My son is a loud Bears fan going to the college where the Green Bay Packers hold their summer training.  I feel anxiety… or maybe deep concern … actually it might be closer to terror, every football season.  His blue and orange jerseys clash terribly with the gold, cheesy hats and green beads sported by the rest of the students roaming the hallways.  Now, while your son or daughter may be attending a college in Packer territory, there are no intense rivalries at Shepherds College. Since we’re a pretty unique school, students come from all over the country - even the world - to attend our program.  You’ll see jerseys in every color. And since we only accept students with intellectual disabilities, all the students have that in common.  They will not be mocked or bullied because they are “different.” They will not be overlooked in the classroom because they cannot keep up.  They will meet people who understand their unique needs and struggles.  They will fit in like pigs in a blanket. Like kernels on a corn cob. Like...like…hmmm. I’m not southern so I’m at a loss. I’ll stop here and you can stop worrying about this one!

4.      Who will keep my student safe if I’m not around?  My oldest child is a very petite and somewhat fearless girl. We sent her off to college in a suburb of Chicago in a time of her life when she was driving through bad neighborhoods and regularly locking herself out of her car.  My husband and I were two hours away.  A lot of scary things can happen in two hours.  So we had spare keys made. She managed to lock those in her car too.  Her uncle bought her a magnetic box to hold a spare key securely under her car.  It fell off while she was driving. I was almost insane with worry over her safety.  You don’t have to be when your student is at Shepherds College. First, we are located in a small town that is well-known for its compassion for people with special needs. The townspeople take good care of us. We also have over 50 years of experience caring for people with intellectual disabilities and we know just about every way someone might get into trouble on campus.  We have fire drills, tornado drills, warning systems, alarms, 24-hour security, nurses on staff, CPR and first aid classes, guardrails, handrails, wheelchair ramps, and very detailed safety procedures. I’ll take a deep breath here while you sigh in relief. This is an unnecessary worry.

5.      What about the future?  My oldest son, not the football player, graduated from college last year. He’s very social, quite the daydreamer and excessively laid back. He never worries, so I do his worrying for him. College was a struggle for this one.  He stayed up late having fun with his friends so came to class sleepy.  And if he wasn’t sleepy, he was daydreamy and gazed wistfully out the windows through the lectures.  I became, understandably, concerned about his future and voiced my concerns to him often. His standard, laid-back answer was, “Don’t worry Mom. God has it all worked out.” I wish I could tell you that I responded in great faith with self-control and dignity and all those fine Christian qualities, but I can’t. I should have – he recently got a job in his field where his daydreaminess is almost a requirement. God did have it all worked out! I do want you to know though, that while I can’t guarantee your child’s future will be easy or blessed with large paychecks, I can tell you that you’re doing the best thing to head your child in the right direction by sending him to Shepherds College. You’re giving him life experience and marketable skills and hope for an independent life. You’re building his faith, his self-confidence and his sense of community. You’re also blessing yourself with the peace of mind in knowing that your child could get by just fine on his own someday.  God’s got this worry covered.

Nikki working at Union Grove Elementary School

I’m sure this just touches on your list of worries as you consider Shepherds College. Please feel free to share your concerns with me.  I’ll pray about them with you and maybe write about them too if you don’t mind. They may be worries shared by others reading this blog. 

 

As parents, we all have worries in common.  We also have another thing in common – a Father. He left us with good advice even if, as parents, it sounds impossible:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

And all God’s anxious children said:

“Whew!”

No worries.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.

The Office: As He Leads

In the positions I’ve held in the past, there is a common question people ask when inquiring how a staff member acquired the job they‘re currently holding. The question is usually phrased something like, “What brought you here?” or “Howd’ju get this job?” or “How did you luck out?”

Not at Shepherds College.

The question most commonly asked of new staff members is, “How did God lead you here?”

At Shepherds, we each have our own unique stories and I would like to share them with you over time.  There’s something deeply comforting in knowing that the college faculty and staff aren’t here due to desperation, job hopping or because the position is another rung on their ladder. They’re here because God called them to serve students with intellectual disabilities.

I’ll start with Cathy Harvey’s story. She’s an encourager, prayer warrior, organizer, brainstormer, tutor, crafter, communicator, bulletin board-making genius. She’s also the Administrative Assistant to the Dean and a person you could potentially have a lot of contact with if you’re connected to the college in any way. We’d be floundering without her many gifts. 

Mrs. Harvey helps Pieter with Math

  

"When Tracy Terrill, the Executive Director of the college, asked faculty and staff members to share their stories of how God led them here, he asked us to use one concrete object to represent our journey here—my concrete object was a ‘pink slip’.

I survived a large lay-off at Trinity International University in the fall of 2008 where I was an administrative assistant to the seminary faculty.  However, continued difficult economic times required a second lay-off in the spring of 2009, and in February I was told my position would end in May.  My husband had been out of work for 14 months, so this was quite a faith challenge.

A co-worker of mine who had been a case worker at Shepherds for 5 years saw a job posting on the college web site.  It was for an Administrative Assistant to the Dean for the newly formed Shepherds College which was just ending its first academic year.  She encouraged me to apply saying that she had already sent a recommendation for me to the Director.

I was reluctant to apply.  Working with people with disabilities wasn’t something I had ever considered. In fact, two other people had previously suggested volunteer jobs to me that were also with companies helping people with disabilities.  Frankly, I did not understand why everyone kept saying I would be “perfect” for it.  However, due to my respect for my co-worker’s godly insights and sensitivity to people’s strengths, I applied and left it in God’s hands.  I submitted my application prior to the last day of my job at Trinity on May 18^th.

Mrs. Harvey with the Dean of Shepherds College, Angela Houk

Just as my severance pay was ending from my former job, I received a call from Shepherds to interview in early July.  I interviewed on a Monday, they called later that week, and I started the following Tuesday with only 2 weeks to go until Orientation!  Unbeknown to me, the VP of Communications at Trinity “just happened” to run into the president of Shepherds Ministries at Panera in Racine the day after my interview.  Somehow my name came up in their conversation and the VP also offered a recommendation for me—what are the chances that the VP of Communications from a school in Deerfield, IL would run into Dr. Amstutz in a restaurant in Racine, WI, the very day after I had an interview here!?!  How does God orchestrate that?!

Until I got to the interview, I had not thought about the fact that I grew up with a dear aunt who had cerebral palsy and a daughter with brain damage from infant meningitis.  Their lives were our norm which bred in me a compassion for those with disabilities well before God led me here.

I am sure I never would have found Shepherds on my own, but God had already prepared me, and when he opened a door via a lay-off, I walked through!”

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.