Quotes from the Classroom II

The classroom is a place of challenge, learning, growth and achievement. It’s also a place of surprised gasps, amused chuckles and outright laughter. You’ll understand why when you read our favorite student quotes so far this year:

At orientation, a student was asked what his goal was for the next three years at Shepherds College. His response? “To find episode 3,855 of Sesame Street on the internet.”

First-year student staring at an overstuffed washing machine: “Ummm… the washing machine is dancing.” 

During grocery shopping, Home B students were trying to find Large Pasta Shells, but found only medium and jumbo-sized. Miss Pollard asked one of her students if they should purchase the jumbo-sized. He responded, “ARE YOU KIDDING? NOOOO!!! Those things are bigger than road kill!”

Also at the grocery store, a student was caught petting the freezer “fur” in the frozen pizza case. When asked if he thought it was a wise choice, he replied, “No. But you just don’t understand how much I appreciate the feel of it!”

When talking with a student about his dinner selections, Miss Pollard asked if he liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He thought for a minute, then said, “Yes, as long as you leave the peanut butter off of it.”

Mr. Kasprzak asked a first-year student, “Why do you ask so many questions?”  The student simply replied, “Oh, I just like to know what the heck is going on around here.”

In Chapel, the students were looking at a picture of the time King Nebuchadnezzar was sent out into the field. Mr. Gaschke asked, “Who do you think this is a picture of?” A second –year student called out, “Satan!” Mr. Gaschke barely had the “no” out of his mouth when a first-year student volunteered, “A dirty old mop head?” Mr. Gaschke replied, “Well no, it’s actually King Nebuchadnezzar…” The student quickly responded, “Wow! He really looks like a dried up old mop from the kitchen!”

 

The second-year students were watching The Nativity in their Life of Christ class. The video just revealed that Mary was pregnant when a student piped up, “Who’s her baby daddy?”

Miss Pollard was introducing stories and methods of studying the Bible in her Personal Bible Study class. She said to her students, “Looking at the historical context of a story is so important! Why do you think Jonah ran away from God and found himself in the belly of a whale?” A student shouted out, “Insurance fraud!!!”

An Ai Academy student to Mrs. Cyr at 10:00am: “Is it lunch yet? I’m tired of you.”

A second-year student to Miss Luchterhand: “You can assign me more homework if you need to in order to boost your own ego.”

Student #1 to Student #2: “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Student #2 with a giggle: “No.”
Student #1: “Well, you are. Despite the glasses, you’re very beautiful.”

Second year student in a classroom journal entry: Mom says if I can’t shave my face then I have no business driving a truck which, in my opinion, is not right on her part.

After shaking Mr. Kolkman’s hand, a student turned to Miss Luchterhand and said, “His hand could keep a soda cold!”

A second-year student was meeting with his Academic Advisor, Miss Pollard, when papers on her desk started avalanching…
Miss Pollard: “Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!”
Student: “I know! I saw this mess on your desk while I was waiting for you, and I thought about taking initiative and helping, but Miss Pollard, I think this is beyond my help.”

Mrs. Kolkman was talking to a student about taking inappropriate initiative:
Mrs. Kolkman: “It’s my door to my office, and I will let you know when you can open it. But you can’t open it until I give you permission.”
Student: “10 more years.”
Mrs. Kolkman: “10 more years for what?”
Student: “10 more years it’s your office.”
Mrs. Kolkman: “What happens after 10 years?”
Student, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back with a smirk: “It’s my office!”
Mrs. Kolkman: “You’re going to take my office in 10 years?”
Student, opening his planner: “Yep! It’s my office and I have paperwork to do… you can go.”

A second year student was getting tired of doing all the writing for a group project. He said, “OK. Enough of my smarty pants. I’m going to let somebody else write.”

And recently, the students in Mrs. Cyr’s Introduction to Christianity class had the staff of Shepherds College tearing up with laughter and other precious emotions:

A student reciting the Apostles’ Creed: “I believe in the Godfather Almighty, creator of Heaven and Earth.”

“Miss Piatt has a new relative! Pontius Piatt.”

Mrs. Cyr: “What is Jesus doing now?”
Student: “Repainting rooms.”

Mrs. Cyr: “After Jesus went to Heaven, who did God send?”
Student: “You!”

Mrs. Cyr: “What are spiritual disciplines?”
Student: “God’s angels.”

Mrs. Cyr: “What are spiritual disciplines?”
Student: “Spiritual disciplines are the ones who are like the disciples in the Bible. They give out answers – true ones that help you.”

Mrs. Cyr: “What does “faith” mean?”
Student: “To have sensitive through our hearts.”

Mrs. Cyr: “What does “salvation” mean?”
Student: “Immunity to eternal death.”

I don’t know about you, but my cheeks ache from smiling, my heart is filled with gratitude for the love and patience of the teachers God called to this school, and my mind is made up. I don’t care what their medical diagnoses may be, our students are brilliant. They can boot me out of my office any day.

 


Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.