I’ve written to you from several different viewpoints in
this blog – Marketing Director, Shepherds College staff member, parent, friend,
observer, participant, sister-in-Christ, inexperienced photographer, obsessed
foodie – but never from one of my favorite roles – Transition Coach!
Transition Coaches are the volunteers who accept the one-year
responsibility of helping a Shepherds College graduate transition from school
to independent life. It’s an important, as well as unique role that sets
Shepherds College even farther apart from the other post-secondary programs for
students with intellectual disabilities.
In June of 2011, Gloria Pavuk, a member of our first
graduating class, became my transitionee. (I know some of you are thinking, “Transitionee? It’s not even a real word!”
and you’re probably right, but I like it better the The Transitioned One which Microsoft Word seems to prefer.)
Gloria and I are a lot alike. We both like to read, write
and cook. We like to watch movies, eat out and cheer on our favorite football
teams. We’re fiercely loyal, committed, hard-working and bossy. I thought we
would make a great fit as partners on her journey toward independence. And we were.
It didn’t feel like a natural fit in the very beginning
though. There’s over 20 years between us in age. I’m a married woman with four
children who has been on my own since I’ve been a teenager, and she was a young
single woman just starting to get her footing in the world. At the college, our
conversations were general and careful. “How
were classes today?” “What are you
writing about?” “Can I post this on Facebook?”
But now in our new roles we were expected to talk about serious stuff – her budget,
her health, conflicts, and relationships. It seemed awkward.
Every week we went out to eat and we talked, and the
awkwardness gradually disappeared. We
talked through her problems and worked out solutions. We talked about our families and reminisced about times spent with them in the past. We
laughed about embarrassing things that happened at work and cried about
failures, disappointments and broken hearts. We discussed short-term and
long-term goals and practical ways to make sure she reached them. We even went
on double-dates together.
In the year I was her transition coach, the age difference
and even her disability disappeared right along with the awkwardness. We talked and ate and shopped and drove and prayed
through the months - and then suddenly my year’s commitment as her coach was
over.
We were at Mulberry’s Café when we realized it. “The year is over. I’m no longer officially
your Transition Coach. Do you still want to hang out with me?”
I wanted to make sure Gloria realized that she had a choice
as an independent woman. She no longer needed to talk to me about her personal
matters. She had proven that she could live on her own. She was holding down
two jobs and maintaining an apartment. She had developed many strong
relationships in the community and she knew how to handle transportation,
medical and other personal issues without much guidance. She also had a good
support system with her family even though they were states away from her. She
no longer needed a Transition Coach.
She had transitioned.
At Mulberry’s, Gloria took a few moments to answer me… which
I was relieved about. I’m sure other Transition Coaches will understand that
comment. It meant she was thinking it over, she was considering the
alternative. It was another sign that she would be just fine on her own.
“Well, of course I
still want to hang out with you! We’re friends.”
And now we’re another year later, and I just returned to my
office from another lunch with her. No volunteer commitment binds us, only a
mutual love and respect and desire to invest in each others lives.
We’re friends.
Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.
