Part of the Transition

I’ve written to you from several different viewpoints in this blog – Marketing Director, Shepherds College staff member, parent, friend, observer, participant, sister-in-Christ, inexperienced photographer, obsessed foodie – but never from one of my favorite roles – Transition Coach!

Transition Coaches are the volunteers who accept the one-year responsibility of helping a Shepherds College graduate transition from school to independent life. It’s an important, as well as unique role that sets Shepherds College even farther apart from the other post-secondary programs for students with intellectual disabilities.

In June of 2011, Gloria Pavuk, a member of our first graduating class, became my transitionee.  (I know some of you are thinking, “Transitionee? It’s not even a real word!” and you’re probably right, but I like it better the The Transitioned One which Microsoft Word seems to prefer.)

Gloria and I are a lot alike. We both like to read, write and cook. We like to watch movies, eat out and cheer on our favorite football teams. We’re fiercely loyal, committed, hard-working and bossy. I thought we would make a great fit as partners on her journey toward independence. And we were.

It didn’t feel like a natural fit in the very beginning though. There’s over 20 years between us in age. I’m a married woman with four children who has been on my own since I’ve been a teenager, and she was a young single woman just starting to get her footing in the world. At the college, our conversations were general and careful. “How were classes today?” “What are you writing about?” “Can I post this on Facebook?” But now in our new roles we were expected to talk about serious stuff – her budget, her health, conflicts, and relationships. It seemed awkward.

Every week we went out to eat and we talked, and the awkwardness gradually disappeared.  We talked through her problems and worked out solutions. We talked about our families and reminisced about times spent with them in the past. We laughed about embarrassing things that happened at work and cried about failures, disappointments and broken hearts. We discussed short-term and long-term goals and practical ways to make sure she reached them. We even went on double-dates together.

In the year I was her transition coach, the age difference and even her disability disappeared right along with the awkwardness.  We talked and ate and shopped and drove and prayed through the months - and then suddenly my year’s commitment as her coach was over.

We were at Mulberry’s Café when we realized it. “The year is over. I’m no longer officially your Transition Coach. Do you still want to hang out with me?”  

I wanted to make sure Gloria realized that she had a choice as an independent woman. She no longer needed to talk to me about her personal matters. She had proven that she could live on her own. She was holding down two jobs and maintaining an apartment. She had developed many strong relationships in the community and she knew how to handle transportation, medical and other personal issues without much guidance. She also had a good support system with her family even though they were states away from her. She no longer needed a Transition Coach.

She had transitioned.

At Mulberry’s, Gloria took a few moments to answer me… which I was relieved about. I’m sure other Transition Coaches will understand that comment. It meant she was thinking it over, she was considering the alternative. It was another sign that she would be just fine on her own. 

“Well, of course I still want to hang out with you! We’re friends.”

And now we’re another year later, and I just returned to my office from another lunch with her. No volunteer commitment binds us, only a mutual love and respect and desire to invest in each others lives. 

We’re friends.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.

Guiding Your Transition

 

I admit… I’ve been a little moody lately.  There is so much going on and it’s hard to take it all in some days.

My oldest son got a great new job and moved out of the house. I feel proud and sad, nervous and excited.  Did I adequately prepare him for the “real world?” 

My younger son is getting ready to head back to college in a few weeks. My heart aches a bit and I feel lonely thinking about another empty bedroom.  Yet, I’m also eager for him to experience everything this  school year will bring – new classes, important testing for his major, internships and international travel.

Megan, the intern who started this blog for me, left on Friday to return home.  Anxiety is starting to set in. Can I maintain the wonderful work she began with Time To Fly?

Ugh.  Too many emotions.

I bet many of you are going through something similar.  If you’re a Shepherds College graduate, you may be job or apartment hunting. You’ve left people you love back at school and now you’re trying to figure out how the philosophy of Appropriate Independence™ will look in your post-college life.

Gloria working at Country Rose after graduation

If you’re a Shepherds College parent, you’re preparing to bring your student to Shepherd College in three weeks. Did you ever imagine, once you found out your child had intellectual disabilities, that you would be dropping them off at college someday?  That you would be shopping for bedding and waste baskets and desk lamps to furnish their dorm rooms? That you would have to hug them, let them go, turn your back and walk to the car while your chest is burning from swallowing way too many tears?  This is the child you imagined caring for the rest of your life, and now you’re supposed to drive off and leave them in the care of someone else??  

College staff help Anne and Kyle move in during orientation

If you’re a Shepherd College student, you may be counting off the days until orientation. You might be excited about making new friends or apprehensive about leaving your parents.  Shopping for new stuff is fun, but packing is a little sad and scary.  Worries and “what ifs” are probably crowding up your brain right now – will the other students like me? What if the classes are really hard? What if I don’t get along with my roommate? Will I like the food? Who’s going to help me with my meds?

Is this what it's like to have a new roommate?

Transitions can be tough, can’t they?

They also can be an exhilarating time of growth and self-discovery! You find out that you’re much stronger than you ever knew. You’re brave, you love adventure, you’re stronger in your faith.  Maybe you’ll realize that change isn’t so scary after all. 

The staff at Shepherds College is here to see you through each step of your transition. We provide orientation and classes to help both students and parents prepare for the college days ahead.  We excel in our communication with parents during the school year. The teachers and residential life staff are always ready to help in all circumstances during your three years here.  Our entire program is designed to make the transition to independence possible. We even train Transition Coaches to support students after graduation!

Brian with his Transition Coach

And the best news of all to get you through these exciting, challenging, scary, busy, nerve-wracking, and did I say exciting days ahead… God is walking through all of it with you. He is the One guiding your transition.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.