Part of the Transition

I’ve written to you from several different viewpoints in this blog – Marketing Director, Shepherds College staff member, parent, friend, observer, participant, sister-in-Christ, inexperienced photographer, obsessed foodie – but never from one of my favorite roles – Transition Coach!

Transition Coaches are the volunteers who accept the one-year responsibility of helping a Shepherds College graduate transition from school to independent life. It’s an important, as well as unique role that sets Shepherds College even farther apart from the other post-secondary programs for students with intellectual disabilities.

In June of 2011, Gloria Pavuk, a member of our first graduating class, became my transitionee.  (I know some of you are thinking, “Transitionee? It’s not even a real word!” and you’re probably right, but I like it better the The Transitioned One which Microsoft Word seems to prefer.)

Gloria and I are a lot alike. We both like to read, write and cook. We like to watch movies, eat out and cheer on our favorite football teams. We’re fiercely loyal, committed, hard-working and bossy. I thought we would make a great fit as partners on her journey toward independence. And we were.

It didn’t feel like a natural fit in the very beginning though. There’s over 20 years between us in age. I’m a married woman with four children who has been on my own since I’ve been a teenager, and she was a young single woman just starting to get her footing in the world. At the college, our conversations were general and careful. “How were classes today?” “What are you writing about?” “Can I post this on Facebook?” But now in our new roles we were expected to talk about serious stuff – her budget, her health, conflicts, and relationships. It seemed awkward.

Every week we went out to eat and we talked, and the awkwardness gradually disappeared.  We talked through her problems and worked out solutions. We talked about our families and reminisced about times spent with them in the past. We laughed about embarrassing things that happened at work and cried about failures, disappointments and broken hearts. We discussed short-term and long-term goals and practical ways to make sure she reached them. We even went on double-dates together.

In the year I was her transition coach, the age difference and even her disability disappeared right along with the awkwardness.  We talked and ate and shopped and drove and prayed through the months - and then suddenly my year’s commitment as her coach was over.

We were at Mulberry’s Café when we realized it. “The year is over. I’m no longer officially your Transition Coach. Do you still want to hang out with me?”  

I wanted to make sure Gloria realized that she had a choice as an independent woman. She no longer needed to talk to me about her personal matters. She had proven that she could live on her own. She was holding down two jobs and maintaining an apartment. She had developed many strong relationships in the community and she knew how to handle transportation, medical and other personal issues without much guidance. She also had a good support system with her family even though they were states away from her. She no longer needed a Transition Coach.

She had transitioned.

At Mulberry’s, Gloria took a few moments to answer me… which I was relieved about. I’m sure other Transition Coaches will understand that comment. It meant she was thinking it over, she was considering the alternative. It was another sign that she would be just fine on her own. 

“Well, of course I still want to hang out with you! We’re friends.”

And now we’re another year later, and I just returned to my office from another lunch with her. No volunteer commitment binds us, only a mutual love and respect and desire to invest in each others lives. 

We’re friends.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.