Friday's Top Five: Roomies

I have had two roommates in my lifetime – my little sister Mary and my husband Rob. 

I love my sister and we chose to share a bedroom, even when we didn’t have to. Our relationship was strong and we got along as best friends … provided she followed a few guidelines that I laid out for her:

1.       Don’t wear my clothes.

2.       Don’t wear my shoes.

3.       Don’t wear my make-up.

4.       Don’t change my radio station.

5.       And let me read until 3am without telling Mom and Dad.

I also love my husband. We share a room - actually all of the rooms – and we too get along as best friends… provided he follows guidelines that are remarkably similar to those I gave Mary:

1.       Don’t put your stuff in my closet.

2.       Don’t leave your shoes in front of the door.

3.       Don’t complain about the price of my make-up. It truly is a necessity.

4.       Don’t listen to whiny 70’s music when I’m within hearing distance.

5.       And please don’t let me read until 3am.

At Shepherds College, the family is left at home and the students are expected to live with people who don’t share biological ties or past experiences or emotional bonds. Instead, the students are matched with a roommate by Shepherds College staff.

This may be the first time some students have the opportunity to share a room or an apartment. It’s healthy to develop new friendships, but even great friends and good roommates don’t get along at times. This is why we give each student these five guidelines for building a strong relationship with their new roomies:

1.       Talk to each other. Share likes, dislikes and frustrations. Some questions to ask could include:

·         What time do you like to go the bed?

·         What kind of music do you like?

·         What do you like to watch on tv?

·         How do you feel about borrowing things from each other?

·         Do you want to hang out together?

·         Do you like mornings or are you a night person?

·         What kind of food do you like?

·         If you get mad at me, how do you want me to respond?

Talk things over

2.       If a problem comes up, first try to work it out together. Don’t talk about the problem with other students.

Work things out together

3.       Accept the fact that you’ll have differences with your roommate. You won’t always like the same things – and that’s okay!

4.       Give the relationship time to grow. Good friendships don’t happen overnight.

Three years of friendship - strong and growing

5.       If you have a conflict that you can’t work out by yourselves, talk to your Academic Advisor and/or Residential Life Staff. They care about you and are trained to help.

At Shepherds College, we want you to build lasting friendships. They will bless you, comfort you and sustain you on your journey toward Appropriate Independence.

Crystal & Kati

Sharon & Caroline

Brandon & Anthony

Tess & Kelsie

Amanda & Anne

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.