Teacher Tuesday: Our friend Jen

Jen came to live at our house when my son, Nic, was about four years old. Jen did everything with Nic and went everywhere he did too.  Jen loved all the same foods Nic loved - especially peas and mashed potatoes - and despised artichokes, just like Nic. Jen was the one to speak up when Nic disagreed with something I said, even when Nic wisely chose to keep silent.

Jen and Nic had long conversations together – while they were playing, or riding in the car, or pouting on the couch. Jen sat on the stool right next to Nic at the kitchen counter, buckled into the center of the car by Nic’s booster seat, and perched on a pillow on the bed to listen to Nic strum a little guitar and sing “Oh, I wanna be a cowboy” over and over and over again.

Jen was, undoubtedly, Nic’s best friend.

You’ll have to forgive the lack of pronouns relating to Jen when I write, but my husband and I never figured out if Jen was a boy or a girl. 

Jen was a little person who lived in the center of Nic’s hand. When Nic referred to Jen, he always said, “My friend Jen.” 

“My friend Jen wants more peas.”

“My friend Jen is scared of this show and wants me to change the channel.”

“My friend Jen doesn’t want me to be mad no more.”

“My friend Jen told me I was a funny boy!”

When Jen first came to live with us, I was slightly worried. Was my son going to be the kind of kid who walked around wearing aviation goggles and talked about his alien abduction? If I acknowledged Jen, would I be encouraging a future that could involve Nic sitting in trees with his head wrapped in tinfoil to catch “the signals?”

Over time, I stopped worrying and realized that Jen was good for Nic. They talked and laughed together all the time. Jen cared about Nic’s health. Jen was concerned about his emotional well-being. Jen encouraged Nic’s good behavior and cautioned his unsafe behavior. Jen was a cheerleader, a protector and a comforter. Jen in fact became a blessing to have around.

I started believing that everyone needed a friend Jen.

Jen gradually moved out of the house when Nic started school. I missed Jen at first. The absence of this tiny person symbolized a loss of innocence, a passage from the limitless expanse of a child’s imagination to the sharply delineated reality of assigned seating, coloring assignments and report cards.

 But, time passed and I forgot about Jen…

…until I bumped into the new Shepherds College classroom assistant, Mrs. Jennifer Oneby, in the parking lot the other day. I introduced myself and we chatted about our love of Shepherds College. I thought as we talked that she was one of the most engaging, unpretentious, sincere people I had ever met. Her heart for serving the students was tangible and genuine. I silently thanked God for the Shepherds College commercial on VCY TV that brought her here.  I felt like I had made a new friend.

Mrs. Oneby

Before parting, I asked her what name she liked to go by. She said, “Jen, or you can call me…” but my mind had already stopped at Jen.  I’ve met other Jens over the years, but for some reason this Jen, Mrs. Oneby, was the only one to ever make memories of Nic’s little Jen come flooding back.

Can it be that she’s so easy to talk to? Conversation flowed with Mrs. Oneby without awkward pauses. Her teaching style reflects this ease of discourse. She likes to have classroom discussions to bring in the student’s background knowledge and then share her experiences with them.

I remember doing the dishes while listening to Nic’s excited chatter with Jen in the living room.

Maybe it’s Mrs. Oneby’s enthusiasm? Her eyes light up when she talks and the inflection in her voice is filled with energy and bounce.  I know that her joy must be infectious in the classroom. She’s the type of teacher that can make learning fun no matter the subject.

I remember Nic’s laughter as he learned the alphabet with Jen, “…H, I, J, K, I love my O, P…”

It could also be her sensitivity. She’s careful to meet the needs of each individual student to help them gain the most from the daily lessons. She realizes that everything she’s doing, she’s doing for Christ, so her care and compassion are a reflection of her love for her Savior.

I remember Nic’s tear-streaked face as he told me of the little boy who kept kicking him in the head in kindergarten. The teacher didn’t do anything about it, but Nic talked to Jen who cared for Nic’s hurt feelings until he could come home and talk to me.

Mrs. Oneby sits with the students, side by side, during class and encourages them as they’re taking in new information. Much like Nic’s Jen, she quietly whispers advice and guides the students to stay focused and absorb the words of the teacher. She wants to see students meet the goals that prompted them to enroll in Shepherds College.

Mrs. Oneby sitting with some of the first year students

But it was this last thing I learned about Mrs. Oneby that finally made little Jen real to me, that gave her skin and hair and gender – Mrs. Oneby loves to sing cowboy songs!

“Oh, I wanna be a cowboy…”

I still believe that everyone needs a friend Jen - and she’s teaching at Shepherds College.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.