What a Relief!

Parents, as you read this blog I want you to be aware of something about me – I don’t have a child with intellectual disabilities.  I don’t have firsthand knowledge of how to deal with IEPs, sensory disorders, adaptive technology or any of the hundreds of other things you have to deal with on a regular basis. I also have difficulty comprehending medical conditions beyond “fever” or “pregnancy” – my brain has an automatic Pause button when “itis” or “osis” is tacked on to the end of a long string of other letters.

In spite of this, I would bet that you and I have more in common than not, simply because we’re parents.

Are you familiar with the Bible verse that goes, “Be anxious for nothing…?” I don’t know about you, but I’m really glad God didn’t make that one of the Ten Commandments because then I might have to think He was serious about it.  How could He give us children and then allow “Be anxious for nothing” in the Bible without having a good chuckle at our expense?

I have four children, three of whom I’ve sent off to college, so I’m going to talk to you college parent to college parent. 

There are universal college parent worries.  It doesn’t matter what level of ability our children are functioning at, some worries cross all boundaries.

Daniela

1.     Will he eat well if I’m not there to feed him?  This is a big one for me. I like to feed people and I take this role very seriously with my family. But I’m also a vegetarian, so as my son is pulling out of the driveway on his way back to school, I’m the loon screaming at his taillights, “Bye Honey! Don’t eat too much meat! Go easy on the meat!! Honey? It will clog your arteries!” I’m 100% certain he’s getting the opposite advice from his football coach. I want to assure you though, at Shepherds College your son or daughter will eat well. We have residential life staff that will assist your student in making a grocery list, selecting food and preparing that food. Nutrition and food safety are covered in the classroom. We also have a professional kitchen that serves well-rounded lunches to get your student through the school day.  If your child requires a special diet, specific arrangements can be made to get him the food he needs to stay healthy.  No worries here!

2.       What about drugs?  We may be looking at this one a bit differently.  I’m saying to my son, “Stay away from drugs!” and you’re probably saying, “Don’t forget your drugs!” Either way, drugs are definitely an issue in college.  Our students all work closely with the nursing staff to manage their medication.  There are very regimented med passing times, as prescribed by your doctor, which are monitored by staff.  In incremental stages, to prepare for independent living, your student is taught about his meds and how to manage them after graduation.  Let that worry slip from your mind.

Hanging out and fitting in

3.     Will he fit in? My son is a loud Bears fan going to the college where the Green Bay Packers hold their summer training.  I feel anxiety… or maybe deep concern … actually it might be closer to terror, every football season.  His blue and orange jerseys clash terribly with the gold, cheesy hats and green beads sported by the rest of the students roaming the hallways.  Now, while your son or daughter may be attending a college in Packer territory, there are no intense rivalries at Shepherds College. Since we’re a pretty unique school, students come from all over the country - even the world - to attend our program.  You’ll see jerseys in every color. And since we only accept students with intellectual disabilities, all the students have that in common.  They will not be mocked or bullied because they are “different.” They will not be overlooked in the classroom because they cannot keep up.  They will meet people who understand their unique needs and struggles.  They will fit in like pigs in a blanket. Like kernels on a corn cob. Like...like…hmmm. I’m not southern so I’m at a loss. I’ll stop here and you can stop worrying about this one!

4.      Who will keep my student safe if I’m not around?  My oldest child is a very petite and somewhat fearless girl. We sent her off to college in a suburb of Chicago in a time of her life when she was driving through bad neighborhoods and regularly locking herself out of her car.  My husband and I were two hours away.  A lot of scary things can happen in two hours.  So we had spare keys made. She managed to lock those in her car too.  Her uncle bought her a magnetic box to hold a spare key securely under her car.  It fell off while she was driving. I was almost insane with worry over her safety.  You don’t have to be when your student is at Shepherds College. First, we are located in a small town that is well-known for its compassion for people with special needs. The townspeople take good care of us. We also have over 50 years of experience caring for people with intellectual disabilities and we know just about every way someone might get into trouble on campus.  We have fire drills, tornado drills, warning systems, alarms, 24-hour security, nurses on staff, CPR and first aid classes, guardrails, handrails, wheelchair ramps, and very detailed safety procedures. I’ll take a deep breath here while you sigh in relief. This is an unnecessary worry.

5.      What about the future?  My oldest son, not the football player, graduated from college last year. He’s very social, quite the daydreamer and excessively laid back. He never worries, so I do his worrying for him. College was a struggle for this one.  He stayed up late having fun with his friends so came to class sleepy.  And if he wasn’t sleepy, he was daydreamy and gazed wistfully out the windows through the lectures.  I became, understandably, concerned about his future and voiced my concerns to him often. His standard, laid-back answer was, “Don’t worry Mom. God has it all worked out.” I wish I could tell you that I responded in great faith with self-control and dignity and all those fine Christian qualities, but I can’t. I should have – he recently got a job in his field where his daydreaminess is almost a requirement. God did have it all worked out! I do want you to know though, that while I can’t guarantee your child’s future will be easy or blessed with large paychecks, I can tell you that you’re doing the best thing to head your child in the right direction by sending him to Shepherds College. You’re giving him life experience and marketable skills and hope for an independent life. You’re building his faith, his self-confidence and his sense of community. You’re also blessing yourself with the peace of mind in knowing that your child could get by just fine on his own someday.  God’s got this worry covered.

Nikki working at Union Grove Elementary School

I’m sure this just touches on your list of worries as you consider Shepherds College. Please feel free to share your concerns with me.  I’ll pray about them with you and maybe write about them too if you don’t mind. They may be worries shared by others reading this blog. 

 

As parents, we all have worries in common.  We also have another thing in common – a Father. He left us with good advice even if, as parents, it sounds impossible:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

And all God’s anxious children said:

“Whew!”

No worries.

Shepherds College - Guiding Your Transition to Appropriate Independence. Please visit us at www.shepherdscollege.edu.